If you missed part 1 from last year, read it here!
Trevor’s guest post was the most popular blog post of 2018 so I thought we should bring him back for a part 2!
Alright – meet Trevor, my boyfriend of 4 years. A man with a lot of experience in long-term relationships and a hell of a lot of tips to share!
1.Lets get right into it. Do you think it’s any of your partner’s business to know about your previous relationships or past hook ups?
I think if you’re partner wants to know – ask and you shall receive but be careful with what you’re going to hear. However, the past is the past so don’t get caught up with what happened prior to your relationship. Comparison is the thief of joy so when you start comparing what you have to what something he had in the past it can ruin your relationship.
2. What is the best advice for singles to meet someone?
Guys: Go to yoga and hang out at WholeFoods
Girls: Go to church or meet through mutual friends
3. As a guy, what’s your opinion on girls getting off hormonal contraceptives? Do condoms suck THAT much? Should guys be nervous about their girlfriends thinking about getting off BC?
I think it’s strange that birth control is almost a necessity these days when it affects a girls body so strongly. Don’t get me wrong, sex without condoms is awesome, but what else is awesome is when you’re partner feels more like themselves because they aren’t on a hormonal pill that messes with their cycle.
4. Do guys feel the same pressure as girls on marriage and the future? Do guys think about it as much as girls do?
No. I think guys definitely think about it and look forward to the day for when they have a family BUT they don’t worry about it like girls do. I feel like guys have the mentality that its going to work out and girls have the mentality that they have to find their guy tomorrow or else it’s too late.
5. Alright, thoughts on moving in? When is it a good time?
I don’t think you should move in with your significant other unless you are prepared to be married or are married. Although the idea of splitting a rooms rent is very financially appealing, it’s not the sole reason that step should be taken. The rest of your life will be shared living with your significant other so enjoy your space.
6. Advice on meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time?
Smile and be prepared to ask them questions.
7. Biggest mistake a woman can make in a relationship. (Be nice!)
Taking what he does for granted. Jealousy due to her own insecurities and trying to find a problem in the relationship.
Biggest mistake a man can make in a relationship.
Being unfaithful – not only does that ruin the bond you have with your girl, but you also subconsciously lose respect for yourself.
8. What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
A healthy relationship is where two lives are built together but separate at the same time. Where individual goals can still be achieved, but experiences can be shared together. I think the best parts of life come from persevering individually, but then having someone to share your successes and joys with.
An example of an unhealthy relationship.
The worst kind of relationships are the people that don’t know how to have balance. Not only do they lose who they are as individuals, but they become so co-dependent on each other for happiness.
9. If you really disagree with something your partner does….do you learn to accept it or how do you handle?
Step 1: I realize I disagree.
Step 2: Ego aside, I think to myself is this worth even bringing up?
Step 3: I pick my battle – if it is something I do think I need to bring up, I bring it up smoothly and strategically so it comes from a place of love.
Step 4: I communicate and don’t raise my voice.
10. First date: is it too much to be too open?
It depends on where you’re at in your life. If you’re in your mid 30s and looking for a partner, you better be open and forward on that first date. Time should not be wasted. However, if you’re in your 20s, take your time to open up. There is no rush.
11. Jealousy…. How do you avoid?
There is two roots of jealousy –
- Your partner is giving you a reason to be jealous: unfaithful, DMing girls, looking at girls, checking girls out etc.
- Jealousy comes from your own insecurities (I think this is more common)
Either way you avoid by loving yourself and putting your relationship with yourself first.
12. How do you get back into dating after a long-term relationship?
Don’t rush into it. You have to really re-evaluate yourself after a long-term relationship. A lot of things can change during a long-term relationship so once you’re out you have to determine what those changes are and how they will impact your future partner. I think closure is important too so you’re hanging onto the past. You can’t really move forward until the final chapter is closed.
13. Last Q, What are your thoughts on your significant other following and liking raunchy instagram model accounts?
I could write an entire essay on this question. Guys, take it easy on the amount of hot chick accounts you follow. You don’t need your Instagram feed to be filled with light porn. BUT, I don’t think your girlfriend should ban you from following any hot chicks on Instagram. Because you know what, when you MAKE your boyfriend not do something, it makes him want to do it more. With that being said, I think Instagram can be a birth place of temptation. Simply following the most beautiful girls in the world can give you a skewed view of reality and make you focus on the superficial aspects of the opposite sex leading to unrealistic comparisons.
++ that’s a wrap! If you have anymore Qs for Trevor, please comment them below!